Once again, adventuring throws up many wonders, and my heart is broken. To think that less than a year ago I was being hit in the head by kobolds, and now I have been close to the gods more times than I can count. None more so than today when we battled a fierce pair of Remorhazes. Only Ryndal’s divine intervention prevented me from death. I have a holy symbol, and I love Sunee, but somehow I get the feeling that the way of the cleric may not be for me.
But I get ahead of myself, the week began at the crash site of Skyreach Castle. We tramped north to see a marvellous fountain of elementals. It was warm and snug, almost as good as a Tiny Hut. Each night on the snow we saw inquisitive giants. Was that McGuffin’s tent we came across? Finally we find Allac, the slightly unhinged wizard who has tamed a colony of yetis. He seemed to have his work cut out for him keeping them from smashing anything that moved, including each other, with large stones. What a wonder – yeti’s. I am far from Waterdeep on this adventure (note to self – write Allac’s story).
After a hearty caribou stew a la Hitum, Allac seemed like he could help us re-float Skyreach. He has an army of yetis to help dig, some powerful spells (hopefully!), and a simple, one-off payment plan called “get rid of the orcs who are working for the giants”. I was for an all out assault. Surely the 4 of us could kill 500 orcs, but Allac had a more cunning plan – perhaps he is not quite as mad as he appears.
Step 1 – get a Remorhaz egg from the mating grounds.
Step 2 – plant the egg in the orc camp.
Step 3 – dob the orcs into the giants and stand back.
Seeing as Step 1 has left my darling Maccath a bit disfigured (another love lost), and Hitum and I on a journey into a monster’s digestive system, surely steps 2 and 3 will be child’s play.
On the way to the mating grounds we came across a MKoz Dwarven caravan. I put on my diplomatic airs, but opened with a horrible faux pas – apparently one doesn’t mention a “Dwarf’s shit” to them (according to Shadow). But my training kicked in and I recovered. We all left that encounter decidedly unimpressed with the grumpy northerners. Only a voice from afar, that often seems to guide our adventures, seemed keen for us to pay them a visit.
A few days tramping in the cold, and 4 hours of digging led us deep into a Remorhaz’s burrow. Shadow cunningly flew invisibly down to the female (presumably – note to self: write treatise on Remorhaze breeding habits) guarding the egg and lay in wait. I hung back, ready to fireball anything that moved. Unfortunately, the thing that moved was right behind me, and it snapped me up in its jaws. I fainted from shock and then was swallowed. Ryndal’s god power reached into the beast’s stomach, and I was awake again. Thunderwave! Unconscious! The female was awake by now, and Hitum’s arrows seemed to be having little effect. He bravely opted to join me in the digestive tracts of the male, while Maccath entered the female stomach (but got off a few magic missiles first). Hitum and I dimensioned doored out of the beast, and I unleashed a mighty fireball. It seemed to have no effect, but I singed myself badly! It was not my day.
Speaking of bad luck, where was Ryndal in all this rough-and-tumble, I hear you ask. Well, his healing worked well, but his attempts to hit the beasts were the worst I have ever seen. Imagine a drunken Paladin trying to ward off a Sune-like prostitute in a bar, then you have an image of Ryndal’s magic going off in the wrong places. Finally he gets his wand out and paralyses the female. Shadows shafts finish off the male.
Wrapping the egg in chain mail, wyrm skin, and the occasional Heat Metal, we proceed to Step 2.